Flashback to beginning ~ SHAME THE PAIN AWAY

It's Been Awhile

2008-10-26T18:30:00.000-07:00

Gosh, I rememberthat darn shoulder injury. Well, It has healed. I still hurt, darn it! Real Bad today. I just keep going , going, and going... what else to do????

My Dear Hubby has been home with having back surgery and healing. We have a new puppy and life gets harder so I don't like to come here.

away, cyndi

Never goes away

2008-06-27T17:43:00.000-07:00

I guess I am the ONE for this darn pain to never give me a break. Itry and try to not think about it and stay busy. Regardless, it is always here with me.

This has been a week of Doctor visits, My bi-year check up with General Doctor, My Bi - Year with Dentist and Physical Therapy for my now hurting shoulder which has now turned into a finger /hand pain also.

Mu neuropathy pain never goe away but with my is more manageable to a point. I can now go 4-5 hours better than before.

But a couple of weeks ago, I woke up with shoulder pain in my back my the bone in your back. I tried for a week for it to get better, Heating pad, ice pad, red hot creame rub, my RX rub, It hurt to sit in a chair withour leaning my backa nd it still does except now my fingers and left hand hurt or are numb, ( i WONDER WHICH, ALITTLE OF BOTH) SHUTE, I can;t even type. (worse than normal anyway.)

My General Dr this week told me tp be sure and tell the Ortho Dr who did x-ray on my back and said all ok, just do PT and come back 3 weeks. Well, I told the PT about it, but mayb eis not forwarding message to doctor and I called them today them as asked. I get the same thing I got the day I went there. No information, com eback for your appt and maybe you need to see a Neuro Dr. Well, why shall I waste a $30 co-pay to have him saw see a neuro.
SO, I called My Pain Mgt Dr and will ask what to do or recommend. Score one for me, maybe I have saved one dr visit co-pay at least.

More later, enuf for today as I never got to some boards I say HI too.
cyndi

National Neuropathy Week

2008-05-13T15:59:00.000-07:00

http://www.neuropathy.org

Join in the celebration of activities on our website all through National Neuropathy Week, May 12-16. You will find something different to do each day offering you a chance to do something about neuropathy.

No Good on pain boards

2008-04-30T07:28:00.000-07:00

I have been awful at posting on the pain boards wth so many of my friends who have helped me get through so many days on pain. I have not been regularly posting on the Neuro board and I just have tried so many things to get thru as I know know that it is all what it is and I just have to live with it, I suppose. The stimulator was my hope for challenging the world and getting back to what used to be and I am seeing this will never be. Geeze, I cannnot stop getting all my hopes up. The danged bills and money problems are still so bad and I can do nothing to help out but create more problems with my ideas to help and pay them off.

All of my ideas to share my estate and auction finds are fruitless. All I do is create more $ problems in the fact they are not selling agian. SO I am stuck with inventory I have purchased cheap and not be able to re-sell.

So, I am closing all my market stall stores and will have a charity sale and give to the money woes all I cana dn then I am promising to stop. I guess If I don't leave the house I cannot spend money.Not on sales at least and sales is what was in my blood I felt and in my head to accomplish something.

I guess I cannot accomplish anything well. All I do is screw up! I have been tolerated so well by all my family and especially my dear husband, but morgaging the house to pay my bills is all he can do and it has to stop. we cannot live like this anymore.

I guess I thought if I gave it all I had and I mean to the limit, it would all be ok. and it is taking me years to find it will not be ok. I just cannot accomplish this My way. MY way just is not working.

I have to accept this and try another way now. I can go apply at mininum wage jobs adn when they ask if I can stand, sit or lift, will I have to lie to just get the job and then can I keep it. I am not good at lying, even though UP sure thinks I am so good at it. That damn exam I took was a joke in that they thought I was really being a good act! That just brings back so many ahteful and bad memories of all I went thru for them and they thought I was not performing! What a joke? and to have to have $ to get a lawyer to show them the truth is absurb. So I have to go more broke and spend more money? Is it worth it? I thought the world of money was worth the truth, just to show them, but again I fail!

I guess they win and I feel so defeated, sigh!

Neuro Board ~ Posted again thanks to Gail

2008-03-11T07:45:00.001-07:00

I have been trying so hard to get better and see how far I can go, I have forgot, well not forgot but, not stayed in touch with my friends that have helped me so much over the years online to learn about my condition and try to help them with their's though just posting and going to their forums.

Terry sent me a letter and I called him back on phone, shame on me, to have let it go that far. He was just worried about how I was doing.

And Gail at the Neuro boards sent me a letter reminding me about my account status there. I have not posted in along time.

Shirley from her Spine Forum shared her friendship with me on Facebook.

I am so sorry to have been neglecting all my friends, who have been so nice to me.

Julie even shared here friendship with me on Facebook.

I signed up to all these sites like Facebook to help promote my Web-site and Blogs to see if I can get more traffic to make my affiliates more easy to access and hopefully start paying me for items purchased from them thru my site.

Well, Shame on ME! Three slaps with the wet noodle! I vow to visit more often and keep up with my friendships better. I think my priorities are in the wrong place and this has been a wake-up call for me.

I will be better,
cyndi

Another Day, Another Pain

2008-03-03T07:22:00.000-08:00

I sure hope today is better than yesterday with the Chronic Pain, that just will NOT leave this body. I have tried my best since my Spinal Stimulator Implant in August 2007 to make myself do more and more everyday because I think I should, I have too! What else is there, like they say, "Today is Not A Dress Rehersal". So we go on!

But, some days have been worse than others like always and we keep on drumming our private song. Only other Chronic Pain Sufferer's can understand how to deal with day to day pain that never completely goes away. It is better some days than others but never can be completely in the past as it always reminds us.

And I remember all my on-line friends who help me in my thoughts. It is hard to find other Chronic Pain suffer'ers as we tend to not fuse with everyday outings well. I may meet someone worse than me in a wheel chair at the store and remember how grateful I am to NOT be there, as I was so close at one time.

I remember when I could not walk to the mailbox and now I can.
I remember when I did ride the wheel cart and now I can walk alittle longer using the cart to lean my weight on my elbows ( my disability company who stopped paying me never understood this, did they watch me shop, but did they watch my posture? my feet in and out of my shoes constantly? stretching my toes and my feet cramping? Did they feel it? They watched me pick up pine cones for my porch basket and leaves to press. Did they see me when I got got home and took a hot bath to relieve the pain? They think they know!

I have tried so hard to make extra money to pay the doctor bills I incurred while seeing every referral I was sent to because this was not the PLAN! No, it was NOT THE PLAN! for my 50's to be using a cane? It was not the PLAN! To wear special insoles is not bad but, I can't wear SHOES! or SOCKS! or Tight Clothing!
None of this was in the PLAN! but then, I know most Plans are altered, and we go on...

enuff, later

Check out my Guestbook!

2008-03-02T07:45:00.001-08:00

One of THOSE DAYS!

2008-02-19T06:43:00.000-08:00

I think I way overdid the last week setting up my new Market Stall store and getting things ready to make so many changes.I finally realized why I was hurting yesterday in so much PAIN! Yes, oh my, nothing would help it go away! I was even too wired to lay down and listen to my music. My DH even got me some fabulous wireless headphones for Christmas that I can use.

I finally realized it was the seam in my houseshoes. I look for seams when I get ANY SHOES, but these were a Christmas Present and they keep my toes warm while atthe computer, but I cannot wear them to walk much. AS I sit here, I realize I loosen my toes out of the bottom area when sitting. I really don't have contact with my feet i nthem. I guess I will have to return to my blanket over my feet and legs while it is chilly.

It won't be long till spring has sprung here, The trees and flowering shrubs are trying to bloom only to have the little bit of frost we had get to them.

I can't wait to lie outside adn just listen to nature, birds, and our train off in the distance.

even my battery in my stimulator wsa low last nnight, the special made cream did not work???? I did not understand why, just way to much pain. Today will be better! I am charged up overnight with the spinal stimulator!
smiles, cyndi

My ANS rep is Chris

2008-01-18T12:35:00.000-08:00

Chris is an awesome guy who I call on for my stimulator settings. We have it programed now where it is a fairly high settings. And to re-charge it, I have started doing it while I sleep at night, It takes about 4 hours to re-charge almost once a week or more depending on how high I keep the settings.

This seems to be working out better for me. I have started using the tape circles that provide to me to keep it taped down at the site that is on my implanted stimulator.

It usualy beeps and wakes me up when I am charged fully and I just unplug it and go back to sleep.

This AM when I awoke I went to the bathroom and looked before I sat down as my brother had the seat up, I about jumpd a foot when I saw the brown thing on the floor as My Mom is trying to catch a mouse. I forgot I had the taped charger on me and it was the lead I had unpluged. Geez, I was scared! funny story, Oh well, onward, later~

Lorry Gregory ~ the cane lady

2008-01-18T12:21:00.000-08:00

http://canelady.net/

this is the cane lady site to get a custom or fun cane made, with accessories and mre

check it out~

Creative Medical ID bracelets

2008-01-18T11:55:00.000-08:00

http://CreativeMedicalID.com/

the above link I found in the Springfield, Mo newspaper today as I am here with my Mother who had surgery this week. I came up to be with her awhile while she recovers.
SMILES! My brother Randy is also staying here at my Mom's house so we can both help take care of her BUT, she is doing fabulously.

She got out of the hospital yesterday after a 2 day stay and was so READY to be HOME at her own house. But, I cannot say enough good things about ST. Johns Hospital in Springfield, Missouri and their care of her. The whole staff on the Fifth Floor who took care of her was dynamic. They took time to answer and questions we might of had, and we did, so I salute them. Even whern her room-mate was dismissed before her the same day, the cleaning girl, Rita, came in and I as astounded at how well she cleaned the room. She even raised the bed and wiped down all the rails under the bed. WOW, I doubt I ever see that in ALabama , sorry to SAY! BUT, I NEVER HAD A NURSE GIVE THEIR TIME, LIKE THEY DID HERE. All of the times I have spent in Alabama hospitals have been begging the nurses t come to the room for whatever you need.

Anyway check out this web-site for great looking canes, crutches and any accessories.

It spoke of another lady in Naples, Fl who makes canes, Her name is Lorry Gregory. I will see if I can find a site to order her canes also.

Maybe I need something for my Small Fiber Neuropathy and that I cannot have a MRI ever again with my Spinal Stimulator.
later ~

Here goes December 2007

2007-12-22T01:36:00.000-08:00

Pain has been returning. Shoots! Relief plz?

I had Chris with ANS reset my stimulator to higher levels to see about more comfort. Problem is when I sneeze or cough, OH, it sends me! Alittle too much.... hard to even not fall to my knees. I also had to re-generate myself for over 5 hours Wednesday Night. I actually sat still and read over three newspapers and then fell alsleep. Finally to bed at midnight.

It got an error signal as low battery so I put new batteries inthe unit I carry in my purse. Nothing better, so I went to buy new ones ,, still no better, so I figured by this time I better use the generating unit adn I did it for over an hour.(Normal tim eto re-charge)

Finally , I called Chris again and asked what I was doing wrong. He said with the higher settings, I WILL have to charge more often and 1/4 batterery equal 1 hour of
re=gemerating so maybe I will just have to sit still for an hour here and there and use the sticky pads also to help keep it in place. Trouble is when charging by myself at home, It is hard to stay in one place as the dogs want in or out. They will have to learn this is MY time for no changes.

I have been on the go today and all this week except Wednesday for news above. Can't seem to sit still.

Stopping Requip per Dr Brainain with -minus one pill for a week and then another. I can't tell if helps, I am still very restless so not sure if I need to go back on them or just restless me anyway! Did it really settle me down anyway . I was restless anyway. Is it more or less???

who knows, more os dame ol' same ol....
it is 3:38 am and Jordan has been upset I have not gone to bed, I took my PM Rx meds about 10 and here I am still. mm, rx requip , maybe it helped me sleep?

another day

2007-12-07T06:39:00.000-08:00

I read an articule in a B'ham magazine yesterday about Amy Grant. She has a new book out called " Mosiac" . If I can invest in a new book, this will be it. It also mentions a new song out called "Breath of Heaven". I have go to listen to a Christian Music Staton to hear it.

I get on a fixed mission and I have to, have to, as happens so often! This obsession happens to me alot and Dr Brainin yesterday said maybe I can cut back on my requip to 1 pill and then see what happens. Maybe I will be able to sit still longer and be less aggitated all the time. That is the only RX she approved cutting back on and when I woke this AM I remembered I forgot to ask here about the Celebrex and going back on it....

I can't remember everything if not written down and I did a very BAD job of note making in preperation for this 6 month visit.

shame on me...

THe Spoon Theory

2007-12-07T06:37:00.001-08:00

http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/navigation/BYDLS-TheSpoonTheory.pdf

I shared this on an ebay board today and maybe it will also help anyone who reads here.

It has been around and is on a wonderful and helpful community board
" But You Don;t Look Sick"

This says it all so well, and if we are not cripplied and folks do not understand pain. well, it helps!

smiles, cyndi

forgot

2007-12-03T03:10:00.000-08:00

I did see Dr Krauss and he said I did good to drive to Ark by myself to see Claudia.

I think he understands,Chris was to call me and I have not heard form him , so I guess I have to call him also about the stimulator settings..

He is also probaby involved in Christmas... and family...

Chronic Pain and no one cares

2007-12-03T03:05:00.000-08:00

I now see I have to live with this and no one really cares. I spoke to Neal Lloyg at the State of Alabama Incusrance Board and he doesn't ever care enough to return my phone calls. I did get out of him he is not going to do anything, tell the Legal dept at the state about it, he says,

But he also says they won't do anything either... sO????

I can go in circles with this for years and go no wher,e so why start them endless circles again.

DH also said he wil not support me $$$ to get another lawyer as he has no $$ and I have no $$ so I guess Unum is the only one with $$ andd they can get by with it. THat is how they keep their $$$$

I sure don't have any, that is for sure .. NOT A PENNY TO MY NAME!

It's back and worse than ever or I tried to do too much ??

2007-11-20T17:22:00.000-08:00

Pain, that word! It just will not leave my life!

I used my pelvic cream last night and this morning , it was just like I did not even use it, but Onward!

Can't stop and feel sorry for myself. Bob is hurting too and going back to the Doctor again tomorrow before the Thanksgiving holiday so he does not have to suffer thru it. Maybe this time they will refer him somewhere else. Since he hurt his back at work , it is a workman's comp claim and he has to go where they say or we have to pay if he goes to his ortho Dr on his own. I think they will refer him to Dr Dykes anyway tomorrow, but he has to get the first and second visit trip to Urgent Care in where the city sent him in the first place. Last time there the Dr said he was on the referral list anyway, as they were so big a group of Doctors within this group as Orthepedic Specialists. They even have my Dr there also from the eastern part of the city. And, I have seen Dr Dykes too when I broke my leg and on the fall where I hust my pelvis.

Anyway, I made some tickets this morning for some Christmas items to take to the mall market store Dragonfly Dreams in Consigning Interiors. While I was there I saw Betty from Southern Consignment and sh eis thinking of moving there also as she is not having a good month. I hope she does, Itold here the space next to me is available but she thinks she will go for an inside booth. NO wall or electric and I should probably do the same as I just don't have the big ticket items to pay the big ticket space. I need some cash to go to an auction and buy furniture to turn and sell as that would be what pays the rent there. In the future!

anyway, I also went to Michaels to get some flowers for the green vases with flogs I got to display them, so folks understand how they work. Walking around Michael's after my mall marketstore about got to me. Just to much time on my feet. Michaels had the garlands on sale 50% off and I found a couple I would have really liked to get but I had to put one I got back and could not justify that I needed REALLY, eithe rof the ones I had my eyes on. The Gold sparkle was for my wall cones, tussie mussies, I thought, BUT , are they to glittery fo rthe Victorian Era?? The other was a sample of what I can do with the pine cones and needles, etc I have been collecting, Just string them along with red berries and sticks with twine it looked like. I could not have made it for the $5, half price would have been. That is the trouble, when it comes from China/Japan, the materials to make it cost more than buying it in the first place... but then, I have not made it myself and the admiration of making it myself.
SO I spent my 40% coupon on the Nov/Dev Somerset Studio mag for more ideas and site links and a brass Anna Griffin set of three Stencils. I really like the letters to use on my soap bottles I will make with the Word "Soap Bubbles" on them or "Make Bubbles", whatever I come up with. I shoul dpaint one tomorrow so I have it rady for Black Friday shopping. so many things I need to do tomorrow.

I really need to get many things loaded to ebay that I already have around here. Blah, Blah, Blah on so on ....

Shabby Harbor( Denise) on the ebay disscussion Groups made a beautiful wall hanging of a Bird (B) and all that goes with it. Brilliant idea and what I have in mind to do. She also had a vintage shoe shoe she re-did and make it Vistorian and shabby, AweSome! She is SOOOOOOOOO Good and lives on a Northeast beach making me reminese of the Puget Sound and Seattle living on the Strait of Jean de Fuca.
The ocean sounds, bubbles in the surf, the beach finds, stones, glass, ropes, shells, etc, so much I loved.

Oh, House is coming on, so I have to go sit down/lay down and watch, or try too. Anyway, I came home barefoot driving and it seemed like it took forever! I also had to stop and get dog food and sped straight home!
Oh so glad to see my driveway!

later,

New week, to close to Thanksgiving

2007-11-19T06:11:00.000-08:00

Wow, it will be happening no matter if I am ready or not. The newspaper ads are starting for Christmas and Thanksgiving food sales. I have a couple of pumpkin receipes I want to make that are easy and not much tim ein the kitchen, That SUITS ME!

I have three super soft foam rugs to stand on, but, just standing is still very hard and I can only move a step here and over there in my kitchen. I believe we will eat dinner with Lisa and Wes at Golden Corrall as just easier and cheaper.

I have been taking less Norco and trying to get by with it, also cut down on Neurotin and see if pain stays or changes. Just one tab a day down for now. I really cannot afford to keep on them next year. We sill owe for this year before the MAx met and it starts all over again in January which also will be here long before I am ready.

We are just starting to get some cooler tempetures and the leaves are starting to fall. Just cold feet with no shoes and socks still.

smiles,

Nov 11, 2007~ Saturday

2007-11-10T06:59:00.001-08:00

I am blogging again, Melena got me started on My Space, I just joined for net-working to my web-site

I have been working on ebay and my store at Consigning Interiors along with trying to straightend up the house.

It has turned alot cooler outside this week, the flowers are dying back and foliage is changing some but the water drought has really affected everything!

I need to find some comfy houseshoes to keep my feet warm! Chilly whilly here!

smiles,

Bad last few days

2007-10-31T04:48:00.000-07:00

My feet and pelvis have really been hurting the last few days, especially bad. I have been trying to do to much I know but, I have to try and pay the dang bills.
I closed the S/c store and am to open at CI space. I believe it will help sales as they are open every day, insteaad of just four.

If not, I will just close back up and CRY! I Have had my "Shame the Fairy Pain Away " out and she is working hard to help me thru this.

Also, it has been cooler outside, 40's in early AM and so hard to wear socks and shoes still! I had hoped the spinal stimulator would help me to get back in normal footwear! sigh, I am just a bunch of pain lately to everyone, I suppose, that is why I let off steam here, to release it!

Everyday pain still!

2007-10-22T18:20:00.000-07:00

I sure was hoping this stimulator would relieve this pain more than it has. I am still taking the Neurotin 3200 a day and trying Not to take the Norco Hydrocodone, but, if anythingis to be done, I find myself needing it to get thru. My feet are tingeling all about and my pelvis just hurts.... always.... and I can;t just stop and let it win... I have to try and continue on without heavy RX meds.

I am working at it...

Better later,,
Fall is coming!

They expected rain around here to day nd you would think it was snow the way the news has been, Oh, storms are coming!

2007-10-05T07:43:00.000-07:00

I am still having problems with my pelvis and feet. I have been sitting to do my Altered art work and the cushion that I got with my wheelchair when I first fell has been so good to help me stay sitting abit longer.

In the car to Claudia's, I sat on a huge bunched up quilt but still had to make many stops to get out and walk around since sitting very long is so hard for me. Jordan liked that alot, as I walked him most of the time if I did not look at all the neat shops along the route. I loved taking the two lane roads thru the small towns THAT is the way to travel! http://dragonflysdreamz.blogspot.com/

see my posts at the link for my Altered ART
smiles,

When will it end?

2007-09-26T07:57:00.000-07:00

I have been working so hard and cannot stop my pain RX yet like I hoped. That itself was a major reason I got the stimulator. I know I am trying to do too much but I just have too. I have to repay my CC debt form my RX bills and Dr visits. Now my lawyer says I saw so many Drs, my case is so complicated it just takes time. Well, I am running out of time. Money is the root of the problem and why I took out Disability Insurance when it was offered to me. And now, they say I can work full time, well I work double full time athome and still making no money to pay my debts.

We have so many new retail sites near me now. I would love the book store but no way can I stand all day or sit very long, it is hard just to update my blog from time to time.

Well, I fired my lawyer and called on the State to help me. I have cried and cried, they don't care or understand. They have their job and income! I am just another case. Trouble is, I spent a year with them and they did nothing. My fall case is coming on the time limit as something has to be done now, NOT when they get time. Well, I don't have more time. It is not on my side. When I fell, I had no idea it would be a lasting condition, so I never called the Paramedics to get me up. I got up in pain and was bruised the next two weeks, very sore and it just never healed.
and my lawyer said the steps were build in the 70's with the correct approved state regulations. What about the burned out Porchlight and in the black of the night needing a car headlight for me to even find my shoes,cane,purse,and car keys! And with the help of another meeting attendee going out with me, she had to turn her car on and move it to light the area to see at all.

Well, I had no clue it would last this long and be so severe at the time.

Meeting an On-line Friend

2007-09-17T10:16:00.000-07:00

I started really researching on the internet planter faciitis( still probably can't spell it, it has been awhile as everyone was saying I was atypical pain type. I did not fit all the symptoms but enough to call it a medical name. I really wonder looking back. Maybe if I had never had the Cryo-Surgery on myleft foot I might never have had this neuropathy OR was it Neuropathy in the first place, we will never know and then when the Graves Disease reared it's head. Why? Again, never know?
But, I went to a foot pain information board my podiatrist told me about and yes I was atypical as I had different type symptoms than most. (heelspurs.com)
But then when Graves (Thyroid) came. I found Medi-board for thyroid help. That is when I started asking all my Dr's for all my lab work so I could share that inforamtion with all my other Dr's so all would be on the same page when treating me.Maybe someone could pick all the symptoms together and make me get well. My feet would not hurt anyone and be in "Chronic Pain" . Pain hurts and especially when no one can really understand why? Why do I hurt so BAD?,And, all the time?

After Medi-oard Thyroid area, I gradually began going down to another area, called "Chronic Pain" There is where I met my friend Claudia. Smiles!

She began posting and I just kind of related to what she was saying and she gave me some ideas that I was not alone in what I felt. Our pain was not alike but we both had chronic pain, the kind of pain that is there every day and all day. We just became internet o-line board friends and later we started calling each other on the phone an dtalking for hours. I never had that with anyone, even when I was an AOL chat host with Dept 56. well, those weere definately happier times and no reason to share anything but in our nightly chats and how we developed our Dept 56 displays and
we shared a common interest in our villages and my "snowbabies". Those were fun days and nights on-line. We met each other at Dept 56 gatherings' and heard the accent of how another sounds in real life and not just a typed chatroom. Our Christmas displays had on-line contests and looking back I really spent alot of time on-line with AOL being a chat host. 9 years of it. They still have nightly chats but I rarely go now as I fall alsleep so eary and cannot sit at the computer like I used to. I did use a laptop on my easy chair and thet did help in those days.

Ok, Back to meeting Claudia. She had neck surgery and her Dh was going back to work. She cannot bend down if her dog need her or she drops something. I can at least be here as a friend and not as a nurse. Should something like a fall happen, I would have to call for help as I still am healing myself from the stimulator implant and can't lift much weight.
Tomorrow I will take here to get here stitches out at her DR office in Little Rock, AR. I hope she feels better then after she gets that bandage off her neck. But, it may be replaced by another, we will see.
Well, enough for now, I need to get up and moving... Later,

2007-09-09T07:54:00.001-07:00

http://picasaweb.google.com/frstyfrolk/ShameThePAINAWAYFAIRY?authkey=HEEG7qJc7XY

Here is my Shame the Pain Away Fairy !

MY SHAME THE PAIN AWAY FAIRY!

Welcome September!

2007-09-01T07:55:00.001-07:00

I wish for cooler weather. I want to be able to work outside...... YES!

I am buzzing with my Stimulator and very happy to have it. I have been trying to do more and mor e but it is a slow process, I suppose. I am still very tired and it can help me alittle longer but not complete relief.

That itself is a huge plus though. I am not complaining. I still need Unum Provident to come around with re-starting my disability as this is taking longer to accompolish getting back to where I was or close even.

I am trying!

Money is so short, I am always trying to hard, to fast, but things cost alot.....
it doesn't grow on trees!
Oh, I shall make a money tree art card! good idea,

I do need to do some Halloween and Fall. Maybe even try to sell, as I need $ and I hurt, so have to get by somehow... doesn;t a girl, what if I did dot have my DH, heaven forbid....

flashback thoughts

2007-08-19T11:13:00.000-07:00

Thanks to all of you for your responses and Charity for starting this. What a wonderful thread!

I am starting over also due to several problems that we are overcoming. I used to have so much "stuff" too. I got anything I wanted and I usually was needlessly wandering. I collected Dept 56 "Snowbabies" and I had to have them all. I did draw the line on a few retired way overpriced for my budget in my head and I did go running to the store everytime new ones were released. We moved across the country where I thought all my dreams would come true as Seattle from AL where the mountain and sea touch. We had a log home and fir trees, all I desired.

Then six months later after 911,( September 11, 2001 ) my DH was laid off his Information Technology job and we all know where those all went to. No one was hiring after 911 as life was so uncertain and we were getting older for resumes. At 50 seemed to be so OLD to be considered. He had too much experience or too much $ to be considered. No one would consider we had changed our needs and would work for much less, We just needed to live and have benefits.

We had sold our home and turned in my lease car and we have TWO golden retrievers who are our children so no APT living even considered. We bought an RV and sold all we owned to an auction company and saw our belongings of 40 years sold for nothing. Also, most of my Snowbabies. They meant nothing all of a sudden. We just needed security. The whole country did. Besides who knew where the next job might be, so we could go anywhere! Another freedom and I love adventures. NOT, after two years and depleting our savings, we moved back to AL and are trying to start over with a new meaning to what life is and can be. Our daughter lives there and his parents had retired there. It still was not home to me but, I had no choice.

We sold the RV although I adored it and could have stayed there forever. But the Payment and Lot site cost more than a Garden Home and we would have a washer/dryer and fireplace again. SO, here we are.

I went to work as a grocery cashier and my DH finally got a job in police dispatch. We were getting settled.

Then Neuropathy struck me. WHY?, HOW?, I do not understand this illness. I search for three years for a name and it progressively got worse with two falls. I had to stop working and took the disability offered to me. IT so helped with the Medical Bills and Pharmacy Bills. Unreal how expensive pain can be.

After 23 months, Unum Provident stopped paying me saying I could take another job sitting down. I have no experience in an office job. No PC's even used last time I did work like that. I had just sporadically worked as my daughter grew up.

Hey, this should be my blog… <>

I am appealing the denial and have been for 1-½ years. Still need the extra $ so I started ebay selling my mother in law’s vintage jewelry and my snowbabies I had not auctioned.

Today, I sit with a Spinal Stimulator installed in my back and I am wired to relieve some of the pain.
I was hoping for a little more, but it IS BETTER.

http://www.ans-medical.com for more information. A St. Jude Medical Company

Anyway, I am still trying ebay with some luck but not enough to pay the needed bills. Medical is still high
But, I hope to stop some RX and maybe help relieve some monthly expenses. I have been collecting old quilts and lace, etc to start altered art. In many ways these items can be used and make old items new again, as I say, Maybe I can shop when you can’t!

I had gone to estate auctions since I knew now that it was not ALL old antique things sold there. After all we had sold our things at one. I got hooked and now have many items not saleable but if I use them to change to another saleable item, it will work!
And so I start!

August 19, 2007